Sunset, Monterey Bay, Monterey California
I’m finding it difficult to write because everything I put down seems trivial. I awoke a few mornings ago to a rush of feelings, like a raging river filled with a profound weariness mixed with self-righteous aggression, retribution, revenge, and fear, all swirling and blending. My first thought was, “If I’m not careful, I’ll get pulled into the current and swept downstream.” I decided to avoid the news as much as possible to keep myself from being saturated, but it did no good. The situation is in the air, palpable, like a dense humidity. We’ve seen war unfold before, many times, and there’s no need for me to string those events together.
I feel like I’m watching a group of addicts destroy themselves and everyone around them, and all I can do is watch. This morning as I sat on the floor with my legs crossed in meditation, I thought, “What does this mean, and how can I make a difference.” It will do no good for me to be angry and upset. The last thing the world needs is more anger. “Be with whatever’s present” is always the meditation. On my birthday last week, I read the same message, in three different birthday wishes, and couldn’t shake the coincidence. “Remember. Peace comes from within.”